I have been in a prison relationship for almost a year now. But, I figured I should kind of give you a brief background before I just dive right in on what has been going on with me and my love. There is lots to be said so I will probably split it up in a couple of different blogs so that you all won't get confused right away.
January 28, 2010, was the day that I wrote the first letter to L. I had been having trouble on the dating scene and a friend of mine urged me to try something new. Well, here I was, trying something new. I was writing my friends brother who was incarcerated in a Pennsylvania Prison. I couldn't believe that this is what it all came down to. My mind was closed as to what it was that I would find. But that didn't last very long. Soon, I realized the large gift that was waiting for me inside of those Prison walls.
Me and L wrote to each other for about 5 months before we decided that I would take the drive to go see him for the first time. I had no idea of what he looked like and was kind of anxious to find out who this mystery man was. The personality through his letters was strong and smart. He could make me laugh through a letter so loud. It was something that I had never experienced with a man out in the free world. If I hadn't just left a bad relationship two years prior to writing my first letter to L, then I would have jumped head first into this relationship with L and ended up with my heart broken or maybe even breaking his heart. By me taking the past two years to get to know myself and learn from past mistakes in relationships, I was able to see L for who he was right now and not for the past that he had. I was able to open my eyes and want to get to know him and not what he used to be. I had to think long and hard before I made that trip to see him. I knew that once I was there in that visiting room that if we clicked then I would have lots of thinking to do. I wanted to do that thinking before I got there. And I did. I thought long and hard about what I wanted to do. I made the decision that if we clicked even more on the visit then I would be willing to take the next step.
The day of the first visit, I was a nervous wreck. I drove four hours to see him and I couldn't stop shaking. The guards were looking at me like I was crazy. I couldn't believe I had drove four long hours to a Prison to see someone that I had never actually seen before. All I kept saying to myself was "if anything, we can just be friends". When they called my name and I went through all of the doors, I finally was standing in the visiting room. I waited and I waited and then finally I heard a door slam and I turned to my right and there, right there to my right was the prettiest smile I had ever seen on a man. It was a bittersweet moment. He smiled and came over to me and picked me up in his arms. At that moment, we sat down and I looked into his eyes and I knew I wasn't leaving that visiting room a single woman. We spent the next seven hours of our visit talking and laughing like we had known each other for years. We smiled at each other the whole time. We were both complaining that our cheeks were hurting. We talked about everything from religion to politics to sports. It felt so good talking to someone who knew how to talk back. I will never forget that visit. It was our first date. 5-22-10
I left that day feeling like I had accomplished something. Like, I had finally accomplished the art of having a successful date. In all of my 27 (at that time) years, I had never been on a really successful date. I was extremely proud of myself and I couldn't wait to see L again. I knew I was in for a roller coaster. L had 5 more years left before he would be able to apply for pre-release. I had lots to learn and lots to realize being in a prison relationship. I thought I knew what was going to happen, but I had no idea.
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