Feenin for the mail...

Before I met L back in January of 2010, mail was not something that I would look forward to. I mean, who looks forward to getting another bill or perhaps other junk mail every day? However that changed once the correspondence started between us. At first me and L would write at least one letter a week to each other. After I got comfortable talking with him, I would sometimes write more then one letter a week. We would have long deep conversations about any and everything in our letters. That was how he got me wanting more. When I first wrote that letter, I had no intentions on taking this any further then a friendship. I didn't even think the letters would last that long and neither did L. He would always say that he had to stay focused because the odds were 80-20. 20% chance that I would continue to write for the next five years and 80% chance that I wouldn't. After reading that comment I kind of took offense but after I thought about it for a while, I knew it was reality. We still never thought it would have come this far, which I think is beautiful about our situation. We were friends first. We took time to get to know each other without the distraction of wants and desires. All of this through letters.

So after the visit and we decided to take our relationship to another level, the letters became more frequent. I was now writing every day and L wrote about 5 times a week. I knew the days that mail should come and what days mail wouldn't come. For instance, there is no mail picked up or delivered on Saturdays where L was at. So I knew that I wouldn't get any mail from L on Tuesdays. I knew that if he wrote me Sunday night and it was picked up on Monday, then I would get it on Wednesday. Now some may say that its a little crazy that I know the mail days, but when this is your only major way of communication with your mate, you make sure you know when you are getting mail. HA!! You also start to not appreciate major holidays as well HA!! No mail means mail is backed up and your letters aren't coming on their normal days. Trust me, I am not the only one who has a mail schedule. When the feenin for the mail started, I thought I was the only one and I didn't like how I was becoming. Then one day I was told about a site where you can go and get support on being in a prison relationship. I went to the site and found that heck nooooo I was not the only one. There were tons of us. And they all laughed about stalking the mail man. I let out a sigh of relief. It felt good to see that I wasn't the only one dealing with all of this. L was never worried about getting mail because he got mail from me every day except the weekend. We started to speak to each other once or twice a week on the phone and I cherished our little fifteen minutes. But i will always appreciate the start of our communication being through letters. Which I think back to all the times when communication was a problem for me. This has been such a eye opener for me. I mean, so many people don't talk to their loved one every chance they get. They go to bed mad at each other. They don't take the time to say "I love you" to one another. All of these things are taken for granted. I use to do the same until the day my life changed with L. Now I appreciate every moment that I get to talk or write or see L. I cherrish it because I know that time is precious.

Tomorrow since it is the weekend. I will post an old letter for L. I'm gonna let you all see the love we had for one another and what it is to put your heart down on paper for the other to see.